Things I own from infomercials
I’ve never been sufficiently enticed by the “raw hucksterism” of television-based retail to buy a product directly off of an infomercial (i.e. to CALL NOW), but I still own at least three products which proudly bear the moniker “As seen on TV”. In support of my recent assertion that lists lend themselves to top-quality blogging, I’ve decided to recount how each of these remarkable inventions made its way into my heart closet.
The Shake-Powered Faraday Flashlight
In a post 9/11 world (also a post 8/14 world) modern day staples such as electricity, or traditional battery-powered flashlights, cannot be relied upon. As such, during my first year of grad school (also my first year of living alone), I saw fit to purchase a shake-to-power flashlight. The main appeal of this product was that it’s commercial, while asserting that the flashlight is powered by inductance (and indeed it is!), briefly flashed on screen Faraday’s law of induction expressed in integral form. As far as I know, this is the only time a closed integral has ever been used to sell the american consumer a product. As a member of this country’s educated elite, I felt it was my duty to support their bold decision. Also, I liked the thought that one day, in some seemingly perilous situation, I’d find myself running around in the dark with my Faraday Flashlight in hand, and I’d literally be powering it as I ran!. Plus it’s waterproof!
The ShamWow!
Who among us dreamt that impossible dream—soaking up spill after spill with a single square of ultra-absorbent space-aged fabric (and simultaneously being really, REALLY enthusiastic about the entire cleanup process). My ShamWow purchase was made at Bed, Bath and Beyond soon after a particularly trying 2 AM emergancy cleanup. Bela (who was but a naive kitten at the time), accidently pulled a placemat out from under an regretfully perched bottle full of red wine. The bottle broke, the wine spilled, and the clock began ticking with regard to permanent stain of our lightly colored carpet. Jessica tactfully remained asleep during the entire clean up process, which left me to spend the next hour of my night cleaning both glass and wine as quickly and thoroughly as possible. It was all a bit much for 2:00 in the morning.
Now that I have my ShamWows (and I have plenty; they came in a box of 8) a comparable incident has yet to occur. In fact, the ShamWows remain untested, but as with the hypothetical blackout scenario eluded to above, I am fully prepared for future cleanup calamity. In the meantime, I should probably consider using these bad boys for more modest day-to-day wipe downs. Also, I may start giving them away as housewarming gifts.
Aqua Globes
These too were purchased from Bed, Bath and Beyond, and quite recently I might add. My tentative plan is to use them next week when Jessica and I are away in SF. Since last summer, I’ve put together quite the window box garden, and I hate to see draught to set it. The aqua globes (I bought 6!) harness the power of gravity and/or osmosis to slowly water your plants over time (all I really know is that it doesn’t involve an integral in any way). The setup seems simple enough, but I’m concerned that I haven’t had time to really test how reliable they are. Perhaps someone who’s reading this will volunteer to come check in on the plants midweek (*hint*).